#185 of 365~Continuing to Reflect on a REAL Journey

Check out the first post to see where I left off and why I pick up here:  http://nickandkassiemayo.blogspot.com/2014/11/184-of-365reflecting-on-real-journey.html

The second verse that became a life-line for me, started in July when the doctors told me my stress levels were too high and my body wasn't responding to the fertility medications.  After three different cocktails of meds, we found one that worked starting in September-bypassing our original InVitro date.   2 Timothy 4:17 became my only whispered prayer, "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth."  The first line about God standing by my side giving me strength, truly is what got me through my darkest times. The second line about the message being fully proclaimed so that all would hear it, reminded me of that our story would one day encourage others.  The last line about being delivered from the lion's mouth, well, that is in regards to a prophecy over my life and a book I was reading at the same time-and trust me, it isn't coincidence.

My first set of eggs available for removal ended up having what they called a "rouge" egg which meant it was too big and feeding off the others.  I had to take a shot that would release them and we would have to start all over again.  I was so distraught and depressed. It was a painful experience emotionally and physically. All I could say was, "Lord, be by my side."  Nick had surgery to remove his portion of the procedure and was laid up for a week due to pain and a week later would find me back in the surgery room. The second set produced 15 eggs!  That's a crazy amount for one ovary and 7 of them were available for removal.  Going through that experience was a bit awkward, but I was asleep through most of it and the doctor and nurses were awesome. 

The day finally came when the doctor called saying 5 of the 7 had made it through the maturity process.  They would insert 2 and freeze 3.  We were overjoyed, scared, and just wanting to get through it.  As we suited up for a surgery that I would be wide awake with Nick by my side, we prayed and prayed asking God to be our strength, to go before us and provide a way, to give us children.  And our heavenly Father answered!  A week after surgery, I would go in for blood work on my father's one year anniversary of not being with us here on earth. It was an emotional day already and this just added to the hyped feelings. The doctor called me later that afternoon with "Congratulations" that was met with the question, "Are you sure?"  I couldn't believe it and started sobbing. 

Not really believing this could be real, I took Nick to Fontenelle Forest where we walked amongst fall's finest scenery and talked about missing my dad.  We got to this beautiful spot where the light hit the leaves in a way that looked as if they were on fire.  I asked Nick to take a picture with me and whispered, "I'm Pregnant."  What happened next still brings tears to my eyes as my husband has never hugged me harder.  Tears flowed freely and we couldn't contain our laughter.  It was a precious moment and one I will cherish forever.

Later in the week, as I was beginning to believe that this was more and more real after each blood test came back with higher and higher numbers, I began to bleed heavily.  It was my worst fear coming true-miscarrying.  At least, that is what I told myself when doctor's told us to "cautiously hopeful" even though the worry in the voice told me they were more than concerned.  It was 9 days of complete hell.  I've never felt more pain or frustration towards my body and even wished we had never tried InVitro.  I could barely talk to God and when we found ourselves within the pews of our church once again, all I could do is sit in complete silence hoping my brothers and sisters would do the praying and lifting of hands for me.  *Side note-Sometimes we can't pray and sometimes we can't worship and you know what?  That's okay.  God understands and I believe that's why He gives us fellow believers.  They can pray and worship on our behalf and help us along the way-we are NEVER alone*  That Sunday, we prayed with some of our faithful church family and even though they too seemed doubtful, we left with a bit more hope than when we came in.

That next day, I went to the doctor where my blood test tripled in hormone numbers-which is a good sign.  In fact, they said it was a sign of multiples! I was shocked.  I didn't know what to think or how to feel. I cried and talked to God the whole way to work.  Not really understanding what was going on, I asked Him to continue to raise our numbers throughout the week.  He did and we made the decision to tell our families that weekend.  While it was not 100% if this pregnancy was going to make it, we wanted the joy of celebrating the little bit of life within my womb and would need the support of our families should something happen.  

We told my GMa first. We took her to Hallmark where we had a Great Grandma ornament put behind the counter and the clerk brought it out when we went to pay.  She looked at the ornament and said, "I know I'm great!"  To which I said, "No Grandma, your going to be a Great-Grandma because I'm pregnant!"  The following morning we met with my mom for coffee and that afternoon with Nick's family at the pumpkin patch.  The following day was Sunday and we were meeting with my Dad's side of the family to celebrate his love for the Buffalo Bills, food, and family time.  The surprise, the love, and the tears of all our family members helped us make it through the remaining weeks.