After 12 years of trying to get pregnant, spending thousands of dollars, seeing our miracle born, then experiencing the heartache of 3 losses, 2 failed adoptions, people wonder why would ever try again. Why would we put ourselves through endless medications, shots every night, uncomfortable procedures, when we weren't even guaranteed the IVF process would work? Heck, we wondered this a time or two ourselves and the emotional rollercoaster took its toll. After changing OB's, hearing her heart for her patients and her encouragement towards growing our family, we knew we couldn't limit God and His plan for us.
We called the fertility specialist and needless to say, they were surprised and super excited that we were going to try again. Our specialist and nurses have become an extended family rooting and praying for us. They have been supportive through everything and we have really grown together through this process of sharing one of life's mysteries. We also called up our prayer warriors and they began petitioning the Heavens daily on our behalf. Sending texts, emails, making phone calls, stopping us in the halls of church to pray, with their love and support-we forged on and began the grueling process the Fall of 2019.
It was around Christmas time that two pivotal things happened. One, I had to have ankle surgery. While the procedure doesn't pertain to fertility issues, the medications would mix with the multiple meds I was already on. So, ankle surgery happened with no pain meds and I had an entire month holed up in the house on the couch which put my womb and fertility into a "peaceful" state. Needless to say it paid off! The second thing that happened was Eloise starting asking us why she "was alone" and why she didn't hve "siblings." We knew this conversation would come one day, but not during fertility treatments when our emotions were already shot! She began crying every day, asking us for a brother and sister. We were at a loss how to help a 4-year old understand the complexities of infertility and IVF when we were still learning body parts! So, we told her to begin praying and asking God for a sibling. We also told her that mommy and daddy needed help from doctors and we had the best helping us.
Why was the latter a pivotal moment for us? We knew the disappointment of failed IVF and pregnancy, but wanted to shelter Eloise from that heartache. We knew we could choose in this moment to stop the process and we would save money, heartache, and peace of mind. But we also knew this was our last chance. So, once again we forged on only this time, with Eloise's sweet voice leading us in prayer EVERY NIGHT. As a family, our faith grew and never wavered. Nick became my med administrator and Eloise has held my hand through every shot knowing these meds "would help make a baby in mommy's tummy."
(This is what $4,000 worth of meds look like)
(These are future babies)
We found out in January that we had 3 healthy embryos’ and could implant 2 in February. So, we implanted two and came out with one healthy little person creating havoc in my womb. I was never sick with Eloise so it was surprise when I began barfing and feeling like crap 24/7. Nick was amused when we found ourselves racing through Target to the bathrooms so I could puke. Several of our adopted grandparents were also sending smiley emoji’s and couldn't hide the excitement at the thought of me being sick-supposedly having a yucky tummy is a sign of a healthy pregnancy (insert eye roll) It's been a month of down-right feeling crummy, but I secretly thank God for it every night!
As of now I go to my fertility specialist once a week to track the progress of the baby, but have yet to get any good pictures. The babe is pretty squirmy with its little nubs. We anticipated a lot of questions from Eloise when we told her about the baby, but she was like, "yea, I know!" Her child-like faith had prepared her for this exciting time and she has taken on the role of BIG sister naturally. Eloise enjoys watching the growth chart and announcing to everyone that "our baby is a blueberry!" or "our baby is pecan nut!" She also checks in with me-almost on the hour-to make sure the baby is feeling good and I often mistake the hugs she gives my tummy for me, when really they are for the baby. It's very sweet and it makes my heart burst with pride at the young lady we are raising.
As of now I go to my fertility specialist once a week to track the progress of the baby, but have yet to get any good pictures. The babe is pretty squirmy with its little nubs. We anticipated a lot of questions from Eloise when we told her about the baby, but she was like, "yea, I know!" Her child-like faith had prepared her for this exciting time and she has taken on the role of BIG sister naturally. Eloise enjoys watching the growth chart and announcing to everyone that "our baby is a blueberry!" or "our baby is pecan nut!" She also checks in with me-almost on the hour-to make sure the baby is feeling good and I often mistake the hugs she gives my tummy for me, when really they are for the baby. It's very sweet and it makes my heart burst with pride at the young lady we are raising.
(Our timing was a little off when we told Eloise the news. She had just woken up)
Stay tuned for more updates about our growing family!
