Mothers Day~What I Want You To Know

For some, Mother's Day is just another day or a holiday made up by the "card people" to make money. For some, it's a chance to lavish praise and gifts upon the woman who gave birth to you or for others, it's a day of mourning the mother they lost too soon or never really had. As I look back upon my life, I realize there were different stages to how I "celebrated" and there's a couple things I want you to know about Mother's Day.  In no particular order....

1.  Out of the entire year, it's one day to celebrate the woman you call mom.  Not necessarily the woman who gave birth to you, but the one who raised you. So many people have come into my life that have been adopted and this day can be hard for them because they celebrate the woman who raised them, but still want to honor the woman who gave birth and made the sacrifice to give them a better life.  The same goes for my friends who've adopted and while they are so excited to celebrate themselves, they also are thinking of the "other" woman. Mother's Day can be tricky like that.

2.  Mother's Day can be a day of mourning for those who've lost their mother too soon or those whose relationship is strained. This day can be met with hesitation and dread as they think about what this day means and they have no one to celebrate with. May I suggest we celebrate the woman who ARE in our lives and those who've taken us under their wing loving us through these difficult days?  Mother's Day can be for them too.

3. Not everyone who wants to celebrate Mother's Day can.  We want to, but infertility stands in our way or circumstances are not what we thought they would be at this point.  For the first 14 years of my marriage, I felt embarrassed, sad, shamed every time this day showed up. Shame is a multi-headed beast that rears mocking women on this day while we cry ourselves to sleep wishing we could be holding a child of our own. Mother's Day can be hard.

4. Being pregnant on Mother's Day can make one hesitant to celebrate the day.  Does pregnancy count?  Does the human in your belly make you a mother or only when it's born?  Does your baby daddy get you a gift?  Mother's day can be confusing.

5. When I celebrated Mother's Day for the first time, I didn't realize how emotional it would be! Little mama was 11 months old and slobbering kisses while waving her chubby little fingers to anyone who would look her direction. We wore matching shirts for an outdoor photo shoot. I bawled my eyes out when I was finally able to stand proudly with all the women at church when they honored us. The love bursting out of my heart for every woman in my life was overwhelming. Especially the little woman who was finally snuggled in my arms and not my dreams. My eyes were raw and red by the end of the night. Mother's Day can be emotionally exhausting.

6. No one told me the expectations that would come with this day. My husband and daughter were all I wanted to celebrate with and yet, I was to put aside my celebration to make sure we celebrated everyone else. I wanted gifts, flowers, cards, not to lift a finger, do whatever I want, I wanted it to be all about me. Who knew this day would be filled with me having to prepare everyone else's gifts, cards and experiences while driving all over town splitting our time into multiple visits? Also, my job as a mother did not stop on this day-I was still expected to get everyone ready and out the door, wash dishes, feed the dog, clean up the house, figure out what to eat, etc. etc. Mother's Day can feel selfish.

7. Dandelions, homemade creations, kisses on the cheek, last minute shopping trips, and pictures that you have no idea what they are, become some of the most special memories that will last a life time. My daughter's hand in mine, wide eyed with excitement, doing everything her little four-year old self could do to make this day a celebration of me-the "superhero" of her life. Mother's Day can be special.

No matter who you are or where you are this Mother's Day, the most important thing I want you to know is that I am thankful for you. You have influenced me in ways you will never know-even if I've known you my whole life or only a few months. Our lives were brought together for a purpose-to learn, grow, teach, to love. Know you are celebrated!